" When a person only knows abuse, they shift their whole emotional and spiritual life into the context of that abuse. If all you’ve ever known is to be hurt by the one that pretends to love you, then many times you go to the one who hurts you for love. "
- Anohni

The quote speaks about how individuals who have experienced abuse throughout their lives tend to frame their emotional and spiritual existence around that specific context. It suggests that when someone has always been hurt by those claiming to care for them, they might seek out similar harmful relationships as a way of understanding love or seeking validation.

On a deeper level, this quote highlights the complex ways in which trauma can shape one's perception of reality and their ability to form healthy relationships. People who grow up enduring emotional pain may develop coping mechanisms that involve unconsciously choosing partners who mirror past abusers. This behavior often stems from an unconscious belief that what they experienced as love was normal or even ideal, making it difficult for them to recognize healthier forms of affection and intimacy. Understanding this dynamic is crucial in breaking the cycle of abuse and fostering personal growth.

The quote is attributed to Anohni, a British-American singer-songwriter who gained fame with the band Antony and the Johnsons. Known for her poignant lyrics that often delve into themes of identity, sexuality, and human connection, Anohni brings a unique perspective rooted in her own experiences and observations about love and relationships.