" Somehow, I had the feeling that I was responsible for Harry being dead. I remembered all the times that I wished he were dead, all the times I had dreamed of killing him. I got to thinking that maybe my wishing had finally killed him. "
- Arnold Rothstein

In this poignant reflection, the speaker expresses a profound sense of guilt over the death of Harry. They recount moments when they harbored intense negative feelings toward him and even entertained thoughts of wishing for his demise. This internal conflict leads them to speculate on whether their intense wishes might have somehow played a part in bringing about Harry's actual death.

The deeper meaning of this quote lies in the exploration of psychological responsibility and its impact on mental well-being. The speaker grapples with the moral implications of having harbored such dark thoughts, even if they never acted upon them. This introspection raises questions about the relationship between thought and consequence, suggesting that even internalized wishes can weigh heavily on one’s conscience, potentially leading to feelings of culpability despite a lack of direct involvement in the outcome. This passage also highlights how unresolved conflicts or intense emotions may manifest as self-doubt and guilt long after they were initially experienced.

Arnold Rothstein is an intriguing figure often associated with historical accounts of New York City during the early 20th century. Known for his significant influence on both organized crime and professional sports, Rothstein was a complex individual whose life story includes tales of manipulation, power, and tragedy. This quote reflects a more introspective side to Rothstein's character, revealing the psychological burden he may have carried as a result of his actions or thoughts throughout his life.