Steven Wright : (14)

" I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ " - Steven Wright

" If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? " - Steven Wright

" I’ve been doing comedy longer than I haven’t been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on ‘The Tonight Show.’ There’s truly nothing like it; it’s intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual. " - Steven Wright

" It usually helps me write by reading – somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear. " - Steven Wright