Steven Wright : (8)

" All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand. " - Steven Wright

" Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? " - Steven Wright

" I’m used to seeing it, but it’s weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it’s kind of surreal to have one in your house. " - Steven Wright

" My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut – he’s my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don’t really remember what we talked about. " - Steven Wright

" I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ " - Steven Wright

" If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? " - Steven Wright

" I’ve been doing comedy longer than I haven’t been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on ‘The Tonight Show.’ There’s truly nothing like it; it’s intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual. " - Steven Wright

" It usually helps me write by reading – somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear. " - Steven Wright