P. J. O’Rourke : (12)

" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we’re also good at running it down and killing it. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you’d be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he’s going to kiss the world’s boo-boos and make up, he’d better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can’t blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to ‘speak truth to power’ to Robert Mugabe. " - P. J. O'Rourke

" Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. " - P. J. O'Rourke