Jim Jefferies : (6)

" When I was 23, I didn’t have much of an interest in politics. All of my interests were in partying and meeting girls and doing stand-up. That’s all I cared about. Now, when you have a kid and stuff, you start watching the news and say, ‘They shouldn’t take money away from this education department.’ You start having much more exact opinions. " - Jim Jefferies

" My girlfriend buys stuff from Trader Joe’s, and it’s just subpar. When you buy a burrito, it crumbles the way a proper burrito shouldn’t. Everything’s just crap there. " - Jim Jefferies

" I don’t think that I am a Lefty in the sense that I grew up in countries that have a universal health-care system, but I also think that I’m a little Right in other directions. I also think that – in regards to the whole health-care thing – that yeah, they should repeal and replace Obamacare with universal health care. " - Jim Jefferies

" Comedy comes out of everyone’s worst day. No one writes a sitcom episode about everyone having a good day. It’s always about someone being locked out of their house or someone being dumped or whatever. " - Jim Jefferies

" I had a head injury when I was living in England; I was in the hospital for three days, and they didn’t even ask for my name. I spent three days in there. And then, when I was done, I just got up and left. I wasn’t a British citizen; I was there on a work permit. " - Jim Jefferies

" One of the flaws in the American dream is that there isn’t as much of a safety net as you may get in other countries. " - Jim Jefferies