Hasan Minhaj : (9)

" My dad’s from that generation like a lot of immigrants where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay this thing like the American dream tax: like you’re going to endure some racism, and if it doesn’t cost you your life, well hey, you lucked out. Pay it; there you go, Uncle Sam. I was born here, so I actually had the audacity of equality. " - Hasan Minhaj

" I feel like every conversation with my father is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie; 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. " - Hasan Minhaj

" I think the way comedy is represented on screen is it’s either all fart jokes – and it’s just laughter for the sake of laughter – or it’s one of those things where it’s just kind of very preachy, very heavy-handed. " - Hasan Minhaj

" Free speech is the foundation of an open and liberal democracy from college campuses to the White House. " - Hasan Minhaj

" My goal is just to continue to find mediums to tell stories that I think need to be told. " - Hasan Minhaj

" Every time a U.S.A. Today slides underneath my door, it’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey, you’re not that smart, right?’ " - Hasan Minhaj

" I’m addicted to chocolate chip cookies. I mean that seriously. If there are chocolate chip cookies, I will devour them. " - Hasan Minhaj

" I’m just an American citizen like everyone else and I’m not sitting at the power table in the room where it all happens. " - Hasan Minhaj

" I was actually a really sort of nervous, shy kid. In high school, it was one of those things where I wasn’t popular or a loser; I just don’t think many people really knew who I was. " - Hasan Minhaj