Dave Barry : (7)

" Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. " - Dave Barry

" I want a pit crew… I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. " - Dave Barry

" People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. " - Dave Barry

" It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. " - Dave Barry

" Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. " - Dave Barry

" American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. " - Dave Barry

" It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. " - Dave Barry