Chelsea Handler : (5)

" I cannot be Mary Hart – or even worse, Samantha Harris – and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it. " - Chelsea Handler

" Everything isn’t permanent, so don’t pretend that it is. Everything’s supposed to move and shift. " - Chelsea Handler

" If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can’t bear to talk about her on the weekends. " - Chelsea Handler

" Who would marry me anyway? I’m a handful. " - Chelsea Handler

" Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn’t have to act out somebody else’s words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It’s the most narcissistic thing you could probably do. " - Chelsea Handler