Ambrose Bierce : (9)

" Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Insurance – an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. " - Ambrose Bierce

" Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. " - Ambrose Bierce